When your Husband is an Unbeliever

1 Peter 3:1  Notice the action verbs

“When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes:

to respect,

defer to,

revere him – to honor,




and in the human sense to adore him, that is to admire, praise,

be devoted to,

deeply love and

enjoy your husband.”

One of the most difficult things a wife can experience is when her husband does not want anything to do her Jesus.

More than anything, women want to be unified with their husbands from the household or professional decisions that need to be made; to the way money is spent; to entertainment choices and most importantly, in the way children are raised.

So, when your husband wants nothing to do with your Jesus, what’s a good Jesus girl to do?

When my husband and I got married, I was saved, but was not a Christ follower.  However, as I began attending a women’s Bible study, I began to really understand what the Bible says about being right with God.

Although I was right with my God according to God’s standards, not a religion’s standards, my husband was not.   He had participated in all his church’s rituals and milestones growing up, but he had never acknowledged he was a sinner in need of Jesus.

My heart ached over his eternal state.  For years, I begged my husband to go to Bible study.   I whined about the non-Bible teaching church we were members of.  And I would leave devotional materials strategically placed throughout the house in hopes that he would see and want to know more.

All to no avail!  In fact, my husband got so sick of me asking him to go to a men’s Bible study that he enrolled in Graduate school so I would stop nagging!

During a very difficult season following the birth of our second child, I realized I had to change strategies.  So, I began studying what the Bible says about a woman’s role in marriage.  1 Peter 3:1 was one of the catalyst God used for eternal, meaningful change in my marriage

1.Living the Biblical model. Be the Bible he reads by respecting him

deferring to him; honoring him; esteeming and appreciating him.  God’s way for a wife also includes enjoying your husband as well as submitting to him.

Submission is such a misunderstood concept in our world today.  Submission is merely voluntarily cooperating with another person out of love and respect for God and for that person.  It’s choosing to be the Vice President of the home instead of the President.  God has assigned the Presidency to the husband.  Truly, Biblical submission is a gift from God to women.

The Bible also tells us that intimacy in marriage is a must, not an option.  (1 Cor. 7:5) Intimacy is a big part of the Biblical model.

2.Pray for him fervently. As you wholeheartedly obey God’s Word, He will show you ways He is hearing and answering your prayers.   (Click http://www.tarafurman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Marriage-Husband-prayers.pdf for a free download on ways to pray for your husband.)

Once I stopped nagging and began living the Biblical model, I watched God work dramatically.

Without me ever saying a word, my husband eventually voluntarily sought out a local Men’s Bible study.   He led us to a Bible teaching church and to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.

God changed His heart, mind and priorities without me saying a word.  I was merely living the Bible as best I understood in our home.

God loves your husband even more than you do.  He wants your man to come to saving faith.

Marvel of  marvel, He uses a woman’s heart, attitude and actions to be the very thing that may win a disobedient husband to Jesus, with a word being spoken.

Tara is the Founder and President of Knowing God Ministries.  Her passion is to change lives and families ONE WOMAN at a time by helping them know God personally.  You can learn more about her at www.knowinggodministries.net

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